Three Birdies. Same Idiot.

I made three birdies on Saturday.

This was midway through a golf tour I had arranged, and what a grand convention golf getaways are. What you do is you shoot the sh*t with okes who say it like it is, and what they’re saying often holds much value; you spice in (more than) a few beers and some epic wine, you stir in a braai and top off with the odd sauna. Some of these guys I have known for a few years now… one of them is a friend from my London days, and that’s going back to the 90s… What a world, and I had hoped my golf game would be in top shape.

Friday suggested it hadn’t. My swing felt off on the range, never improved, and my bunker and putting game had gone walkabout. Luckily, Saturday was better. I finished in the mid-80s, although for a brief, glorious period, breaking 80 looked possible. Then normal service resumed. My inability to get out of the greenside bunkers plus a few swing breakdowns on the back end is to blame. On the plus side, I had a few glorious recoveries, and…

Three holes played to perfection, with birdie putts curling in for all-round high fives. And they had one thing in common. They were all on holes where I used my sensible hybrid off the tee, even if they were a par 5 (or a nice short par 4) where there was a huge temptation to crush it with the big dog. Said big dog, where it came out on other holes, got me oohs and aahs on half of them… and on the other half, it handily contributed to double and triple bogeys, ruining my score. 

You would think I might have adjusted accordingly and stuck with the club that gives me consistent results. Yet I kept reaching for the driver, with the touching conviction that this time it would deliver the shot I had in my head.

And you know what? It’s all too familiar, elsewhere in my life. Put me in an exploratory conversation with a prospective client, and I can reach for the business equivalent of my driver remarkably quickly. Someone mentions a challenge, and I’m already connecting it to coaching, leadership, AI or systems. I want to demonstrate value, show I understand, and reassure them I can help. Before long, I’m explaining everything I could do while they are still trying to explain what is happening. Pure Enneagram 7, to be honest.

The enthusiasm is sincere. The club selection is questionable.

In To Sell Is Human, Daniel Pink explores the growing importance of problem finding. Buyers have access to more information and more possible solutions than ever, which makes helping them identify the right problem particularly valuable. His idea of attunement asks us to understand another person’s perspective, something that becomes difficult when we are busy preparing our own impressive answer.

We saw this when we tested our Marketing Kit on PG Tops itself. We described coaching, facilitation, and AI tools. Clients described chasing people, checking work, and being asked for every answer. Our language described what we delivered; theirs revealed why it mattered. They wanted their time back.

That distinction changes the conversation. A founder asking for more leads might need better marketing. They might also have plenty of unanswered enquiries, an offer nobody understands, or proposals that cannot leave the building without their approval. Asking what happened with their last three enquiries could be considerably more useful than explaining my magnificent collection of solutions.

Last week I wrote about the lens we bring to our experiences. This week reminded me how easily my own lens takes over, particularly when I’m keen to be useful. Kahneman’s Thinking, Fast and Slow is great for this. Familiar situations invite fast, automatic responses, while deliberate thinking requires attention. Experience helps me recognise patterns quickly, but I still need to check whether the pattern I recognise belongs to this client.

Three birdies don’t prove that my hybrid is always the right club. They do give me a reason to pause before automatically reaching for something else. In a client conversation, that pause creates room for the question I might otherwise skip.

PG’s Pro Tip: Reach for the hybrid

Before your next exploratory conversation, write down the solution you already suspect you’ll recommend. Then ask the client for a recent example of their problem, what it cost them and what they have tried. Finally, explain back what you think you’ve heard and ask them to correct you before you suggest a way forward.

Try this prompt in ChatGPT or Claude:

“Act as my message strategist using Daniel Pink’s problem-finding approach. My business sells [OFFER] to [CLIENT GROUP]. Here are anonymised notes from recent client conversations: [NOTES]. Help me distinguish the problem we currently sell against, the problem clients say they have and a possible underlying problem. Ask me one question at a time, challenge vague answers and separate evidence from assumptions. Finish with a clear problem statement and five discovery questions to test it. Don’t recommend a solution until we understand the need.”

On 25 November, 09:00–11:00 at Workshop17 Kloof Street, we’ll put this into practice at the Marketing & Sales Workshop.

Bring your business notes and your laptop. We will work on a sales message built around the problem your clients actually need solved, and one your team can learn to explain without you doing all the talking.

Book your seat(s) at the Marketing & Sales Workshop. Only 12 available. And yes, I’ll try to leave my driver at home.

Where in your business are you reaching for the driver before you’ve properly understood the problem?

Regards,

PG