The Haka, the Enneagram, and the Patterns That Run Us

It has begun. And boy, what a start.

Bokke. All Blacks. The return of the tour. An era we thought long gone is back, and man are we all excited. I might even start drinking Castle Double Malt after my senses got assaulted by the branding this last weekend.

On Saturday evening, I took the family to Cape Town Stadium to watch our depleted Stormers take on the mighty All Blacks. No Sasha, no Reinach, no Damien, no Paul de Villiers. And yet, there were other stories. Resilience. Brannas. Wynberg. And for me, somewhat of a new start. It was another special moment where sport has the power to bring generations together, and I'll tell you why.

It starts with the pre-game rituals. A lift to the Civic Centre, the line for the MyCiTi bus, and the calculation whether there's time for a beer and a burger. Of course there is! The Hudsons sirens have this stuff dialled in: Sit-order-burger-beer-bill go! Years of our own experience had suggested we would make it with time to spare. Nobody consulted Google Maps. Nobody debated alternatives. Our brains had already solved the problem because we'd seen this movie before. Pattern recognition had quietly taken over, and we still got to sing the Anthem and watch the Haka.

Even though this wasn't a Test match, it felt like it. The atmosphere carried all the familiar rituals. The black jerseys. The nervous excitement. The hush before the haka. The All Blacks Cape faithful, a lifetime of resentment support a paradigm too strong to discard even in the face of a brand new era. These matches, these occasions, are sporting occasions that develop traditions that become almost instinctive. Everyone knows their role. Everyone understands the script.

And while many old patterns held true, the real juice was in the new things. The delightful emergence of new rituals, traditions and truths.

For most of my lifetime, if you had asked which Cape school dominated schoolboy rugby, Bishops would almost certainly have topped the list. Today, however, Wynberg Boys' High has firmly established itself among the elite. That loud schoolboy contingent in the top corner was celebrating their new superstar alumni in twenty-year-old Yaqeen Ahmed, who made his Stormers debut. Their energy swept through the stadium, and it was only after a while that I realised what they were doing. They had adopted the coordinated rowing celebration that we all came to love in the Norwegian fairytale at the last football World Cup. No Erling Haaland here, but this compelling addition to crowd involvement has now found its way into South African rugby.

At first it was only the Wynberg boys. By the second half, entire sections of the stadium were joining in, rowing and grunting like they were about to invade Scotland. That's how new patterns are born. One group does something different. Others recognise it. They imitate it. Before long it no longer feels novel. It simply becomes part of the culture.

There was another emerging pattern sitting right next to me. Since he was 2, I've taken Matie to rugby matches knowing that we'd probably leave a little early. Young boys have limited attention spans. An hour and a half of rugby is a long time when you're more interested in the chips, the mascots and whatever is happening in the stands. Leaving before the final whistle became our pattern. It helped us avoid the queues, catch an early Uber and end the evening on a high.

Except this Saturday, Matie didn't want to leave.

As we stood up, he looked at me with genuine disappointment. He wanted to stay until the very end. AJ was totally ready to go home, but a year older is a big difference, it seems. Something had changed in my eldest.

This wasn't simply a little boy enjoying a big occasion anymore. Thanks to the outstanding coaching he's been receiving at Hamilton's Rugby Club, he was seeing a completely different game. He understood the flow of play. He recognised penalties before I explained them. He anticipated attacking movements and celebrated small moments that would have passed unnoticed a year ago. This was the first time I had the unmistakable sense that he truly understood what he was watching.

The coaching hadn't simply improved his rugby. It had changed the patterns through which he experienced the game, and, for me, it was another escalation in my joy of these moments.

And what role models he had on the field, hey. Captain Ruan Nel, a stalwart of the side but someone whose chance to face the Haka almost passed him by. Deon Smit, the ageing hero of the 2023 World Cup Final, who showed again why, for some, age is just a mindset. And the young Wynberg flyhalf, who signalled an entry into the big leagues with a composed performance. The All Blacks were expected to dominate a depleted Stormers team, but on this beautiful winter's night, the team played their hearts out and showed parity until the very end, giving the fans everything and more than they had come for.

The end result was a predictable All Black victory, the expected pattern playing out. But with so much nuance, so many sideplots, so much to celebrate. In a game where the team culture overrides any individual, there was much for us to learn too.

The best leaders respect established patterns because they contain hard-earned wisdom. Experience matters. Data matters. Proven systems matter. They help us make better decisions without having to start from first principles every single day. And yet, we also need to evolve. Layer on new realities, strategies and tactics. And holding that duality is what makes leadership, and the tough decisions that go with it, such an art.

It's why I continue to find the Enneagram so valuable.

Each of the nine Enneagram types has developed remarkably effective patterns for navigating life. Those patterns didn't emerge by accident. They were intelligent adaptations that helped us belong, succeed, protect ourselves or make sense of the world around us. Over time those adaptations became habits, habits became preferences, and preferences became personality.

The mistake is believing that personality is who we are, though. The Enneagram offers a far more hopeful perspective. Our personality is the strategy we've developed for dealing with life. It explains how we typically show up, but it is not the totality of who we are… and that distinction matters.

A Type One's pursuit of excellence becomes extraordinary leadership until perfectionism begins slowing progress. A Type Three's drive inspires everyone around them until achievement overshadows authenticity. A Type Six's vigilance protects the team until caution starts limiting opportunity. As a Type Seven, my instinct is to spot possibilities, connect ideas and generate enthusiasm. Those patterns have served me well throughout my career. They've also taught me that not every exciting opportunity deserves equal attention.

The work of self-leadership is not to erase our patterns. It is to become aware of them. To appreciate why they developed, to leverage the strengths they offer, and to recognise when the world is inviting us to respond differently.

Sitting in Cape Town Stadium, I realised I wasn't simply watching a rugby match. I was watching old traditions sitting comfortably alongside new ones. I was watching a school establish a new legacy. I was watching my son experience the game through a completely different lens because someone had invested in his development. And I was reminded that growth rarely comes from abandoning our patterns. More often, it comes from recognising which ones still serve us and having the courage to create new ones when they no longer do.

PG's Pro Tip

One of the greatest advantages AI gives us is the ability to identify patterns hidden inside enormous amounts of data. One of the greatest advantages of the Enneagram is its ability to reveal the patterns hidden inside ourselves. Now, it's my obsession to spread the word: the real opportunity lies in combining both.

Leverage the patterns that experience and data have already taught you. They are often your greatest competitive advantage. But don't stop there. Keep asking whether the environment has changed, whether your customers have changed, whether your team has changed, or whether you have changed.

The Enneagram reminds us that our personality is an adaptive strategy, not a life sentence. Self-awareness gives us the freedom to lean into our natural strengths when they serve us and consciously choose a different response when they don't.

AI Prompt

Act as an executive coach with expertise in leadership, strategy and the Enneagram. Help me identify five recurring patterns I rely on in my leadership. For each pattern, explain why it has served me well, what assumptions it makes about the world, what evidence would suggest the environment has changed, how a leader with a different Enneagram type might approach the same situation, and one practical experiment I can run over the next seven days to determine whether I should reinforce this pattern or intentionally develop a new one.

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