Excellence Is Contagious: Community Shapes Success More Than We Realise

This past weekend was one of those weekends (after a pretty tough week) that leaves you feeling grateful, energised, and just a little bit more optimistic. 

On Friday afternoon, I teed it up at Royal Cape with my mates George, Barry and Bossau. I shot an 80, which might not sound particularly remarkable to the non-golfers reading this, but for me it felt significant. Royal Cape is not an easy course, particularly with recently hollow-tined greens, and I honestly can't remember ever breaking 80 there before. I got very very close this time, and I think the breakthrough is around the corner. 

The score itself was satisfying, but it wasn't the real story… The real story was seeing evidence that the investment is paying off. Fancourt was great a month ago, but when I saw my coach again, he had some choice words for the behaviours that were still wrong. So I knuckled down and got to work. And as this has not been a quick journey, I could build on the foundations we had already established together, to tweak out some more improvements. It took about six holes on Friday to settle… but then I hit my groove, and the scorecard (38 on the back nine) simply confirmed what the process had already been telling me. I can feel it. We’re getting there! 

What made it even more enjoyable was playing alongside/against George. We have a healthy habit of encouraging each other by way of a friendly wager, and in challenging each other in what is always a tight game, we are refusing to let one another settle for mediocre. Golf has a funny way of exposing both your weaknesses and your mindset, and having someone alongside you who wants to see you succeed makes a bigger difference than most people realise. 

Earlier in the week, I experienced something similar while co-facilitating a Learning Day in Cape Town with rock star trainer James Summers. James is one of the best trainers I know, and applies himself above and beyond to his craft and preparation. His participant scores edged mine, but my own scores were also excellent. The interesting part was not the comparison. It was the preparation. 

Knowing I would be standing alongside someone operating at a very high level forced me to raise my own standards. I prepared more thoroughly, thought harder about the content, and paid greater attention to the details. 

And.. there is a lesson here. When you spend time with people who are serious about their craft, your own standards tend to rise. Excellence has a way of becoming contagious. 

I've written before about the importance of momentum and the idea that success rarely arrives as a single breakthrough moment. More often, it shows up as small green shoots that emerge after weeks or months of consistent effort. 

Whether it is improving a golf swing, building a business, developing a team, or becoming a better parent, the formula is usually the same. Show up consistently. Learn from people who are ahead of you. Stay in the game long enough for the results to appear… and know that we often underestimate the influence of the people around us.

We talk endlessly about strategy, systems, and goals, yet far less about the communities we place ourselves in. The people we spend time with shape our standards, our habits, and ultimately our outcomes.

This idea has deep roots in both psychology and performance science. The people around us create what researchers call social norms. We unconsciously adjust our behaviour to match the expectations of the groups we belong to. If you're surrounded by people who are learning, improving, and striving to get better, those behaviours become normal. If you're surrounded by people who complain, blame, and settle, that becomes normal too.

Performance expert James Clear often writes that every action is a vote for the type of person you want to become. I'd add that every community is a vote for the type of person you are likely to become.

The second story from the weekend reinforced that perfectly. After some me-time on the golf course, the rest of the weekend was all about them. From Friday evening onwards, it was a rollercoaster of soccer and rugby, as both boys played multiple games all across Cape Town and the suburbs. From Camps Bay to Blouberg and back to the hallowed turf of Hamiltons, they had their own personal highlights and moments to celebrate. But what stood out wasn't the individual performances. It was watching them contribute to their teams.

For all the excitement that exists around youth sport, the bigger lesson isn't about scoring tries or goals. It's about learning how to work with others, support teammates, celebrate collective wins, and recover together after setbacks. AJ needed to sub for Matie for his Sunday Hammies game because his older brother was still playing soccer, and the way the coaches and teammates welcomed a nervous AJ was a massive tribute to the culture they have built there. Community, hey.

And then came my favourite moment of the entire weekend.

Late on Sunday afternoon, we decided on a whim to head to a nearby park with the dog for a leg stretch. As it happened, we ran into some other families from the soccer club and the school who also had the same idea. Hey presto. The kids put up some cones, a soccer ball was produced, and it was game on. Dads against lads, as the sun began setting over a spectacular Cape Town autumn evening.

No trophies. No referees. No league tables… Just people enjoying one another's company. 

As I embraced the chaos and the World-Cup winning level celebrations of the young ones when they got it past dad, I realised that was the real win of the weekend.

Not my golf score, not the tournament results.

The real win is COMMUNITY. 

The simple joy of being surrounded by people who make your life richer, lighter, and more enjoyable. 

PG's Pro Tip:

Take fifteen minutes this week and conduct a simple audit of your environment. 

Look at the people, communities, activities, and commitments that occupy most of your time. Which ones leave you feeling energised, encouraged, challenged, and inspired? Which ones consistently leave you feeling drained, frustrated, or diminished?

Then ask yourself a difficult question:

If an activity consistently drains your energy and contributes little to your growth, why are you still doing it? 

ChatGPT Prompt:

"Act as a performance coach and life strategist. Help me evaluate the people, communities, commitments, and activities that currently occupy my time. Categorise each as Uplifts Me, Neutral, or Drains Me. For every item that drains me, help me identify why I continue doing it, what the hidden cost is, and what alternatives or boundaries I should consider. Finally, suggest three practical changes I can make over the next 30 days to spend more time with people and activities that elevate my performance, happiness, and sense of community." 

Because the older I get, the more convinced I become that success is rarely a solo pursuit. 

The quality of your life is heavily influenced by the quality of the people you choose to walk it with. 

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