The Luckiest People Aren’t Lucky - They Notice When They Are
- PG Geldenhuys
- Nov 5
- 4 min read
This past Saturday, I was mountain biking with the boys in Bloemendal. After the ride, we were sitting down for a drinks break when a stranger walked up and offered AJ an ice cream their family had bought by mistake. Kindness out of nowhere. Then Matie arrived from the track, saw the ice cream, and launched into a mini-meltdown. The same family, bless them, went and bought him one. I protested… they insisted.
It struck me how often this happens. A stranger buys my kids ice cream at rugby. Someone ahead in the queue quietly pays for a coffee. Small acts, but they form a pattern. My father was a lucky man: raffles, draws, he always won them. My wife and I joke about how my mom channels the universe at malls and busy streets: Parking spaces always open up for her, so Caroline chants her name when we’re looking for one.
And yet, I don’t think it’s luck. It’s a mindset. A paradigm, as Stephen Covey would say. Feeling lucky is a decision: a way of interpreting events so that gratitude outweighs grievance. I used to say to clients on a tour to beautiful Cape Point in torrential downpours: “You guys are so lucky! You are experiencing the real Cape of Storms!” And most clients, bless them, would buy my schtick.
But it raises a question: in our homes, and in our companies, how do we nurture a positive mindset and confidence in getting what we need without breeding entitlement?
As an Enneagram 7, reframing for the positive is my native tongue. My mom has that same sunny lens. As does my wife. It’s the mindset of someone who looks at a flat tyre or a psychotic minibus driver who cut us off and says, “Maybe it saved us from a crash up the road.” That instinct to find meaning in mishap has carried me through life and business.
It’s what The Secret called the “law of attraction,” but I prefer to think of it as a gratitude filter: when you believe the world is on your side, you notice evidence that it is. And over time, gratitude becomes strategy. It affects how you lead, hire, and even handle setbacks.
A positive mindset is also not a silver bullet. We need to confront brutal truths, acknowledge our shortcomings, read the environment, and do the work. Once I have done a thing a few dozen times, there is a temptation to wing it instead of doing the thorough prep. And that can be fine… but you can also wrongfoot yourself, and it just takes a moment to destroy your rep.
It’s my biggest challenge with the boys: How do they transcend privilege to anchor in gratitude, how do I create the confidence and the swagger to feel like they belong in every room they walk into, yet maintain a sense that they don’t necessarily have any RIGHT to be there. The superpower can easily turn into a fatal weakness, and as I said in last week’s newsletter, the (over)confidence success brings can quickly turn against you.
Rassie Erasmus, if anything, incessantly talks about entitlement. About how it creeps in. How his biggest challenge as a coach is to keep his charges grounded and not let it all get to their heads. Because it happens organically, incessantly, inevitably. If the whole world is telling you how awesome you are, how long are you going to resist believing it?
And the current Springbok culture seems to reflect a consistent focus on preventing this. I wonder about Sacha. The wunderkind, the next big thing, and someone I personally think is destined to lead. He is someone who has been used to all the opportunities, the leadership, the microphone, the selection. From being a junior to attending the top schools to being picked for all the teams, he seems to be groomed for glory.
I hope he keeps his head. I hope he resists buying his own legend. But history tells us the hero needs to crash before he can rise to ultimate redemption. Happened to Rassie. Happened to Siya. Let’s see how it all plays out, but if we observe the obvious reference to Dan Carter or Johnny Wilkinson, Sacha might have a World Cup or two of disappointment to go before he writes his big chapter.
He is lucky to be in such a good cultural environment, though. In every business I coach, I see the same fault line: teams that live with gratitude rise; teams that operate from entitlement rot. There is a consistency there, and with a bit of focus, it can be made intentional.
Three small levers make the difference:
Language: Shift “I have to” → “I get to.” Gratitude starts in grammar.
Accountability as Trust: When you give someone ownership, frame it as a privilege, not an obligation.
Ritual: Gratitude must be practised, not proclaimed. That’s why I use the Morning 10–10–10.
And remember - gratitude isn’t softness. It’s a structure. When you hardwire it into meetings, scorecards, and reflections, you build a culture that celebrates contribution, not consumption.
PG’s Pro Tip:
Gratitude is your anti-entitlement operating system. Try this simple 10–10–10 every morning before the world starts shouting:
10 Minutes of Stillness – Read, breathe, or reflect on something that shrinks your ego.
10 Lines of Gratitude – Write down ten things, big or small, that make you feel fortunate.
10 Intentions – List ten small ways you’ll give today: a compliment, a message of thanks, a good coffee made for someone else.
Done daily, this rewires your perception - and your people will feel it.
ChatGPT Prompt: Create a “Gratitude over Entitlement” ritual for my business team. Include:
a short daily reflection or Slack message format,
a weekly gratitude circle or ‘thank-you round,’
and a monthly practice linking gratitude to performance (e.g. peer shout-outs, recognition stories).
Make it concise, authentic, and aligned with our company values.
Final thought:
Entitlement is the tax on success. Gratitude is the dividend. The luckiest people aren’t just lucky - they notice when they are.
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